Det er meget svært, det sker kun én gang hver 6. måned, men det er et stort tab og et chok, der bliver for gammel til det nu, men jeg har lært at slukke, når jeg indser, at jeg ikke vil vinde, hvilket jeg formoder, er noget, men den dag det skete, var jeg bare træt af min kedelige rutine, og det tiltrak mig som en stormand.
It is very difficult it only happens once every 6 months but its a big loss and a shock getting too old for it now but I have learned to switch off when I realise I will not win which I suppose is something but the day it happened I was just sick of my boring routine and it drew me in like a magnate I suppose my defences broke but im determined not to think that 6 months was a waste as I learned a lot and changed a lot for the better







